From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to breastfeed. My sister breastfed my niece and is still currently breastfeeding my nephew. She has an indepth knowledge of breastfeeding, so much I often encourage her to become a certified lactation consultant (still working on persuading her LOL). As for me and my sister we were formula fed babies. Almost everyone I know was formula fed except for my husband. So literally my sister was the only support that I had in this journey.

There are so many benefits to breastfeeding but my three most favorite is that it’s FREE, breastfed babies are rarely sick, and it cures ALMOST everything lol. I ordered my free breast pump through my insurance, purchased my breast milk storage bags, nipple cream, and hands-free pumping bra; I was all set! The first two weeks of my son’s life I decided I was going to be an “exclusively pumping mom”. But after only a week my son had a growth spurt and I could no longer keep up with his demand for breastmilk. I remember venting to my sister that I felt like a robot being hooked up to the machine because you have to pump religiously around the clock every 2-3 hours to maintain your supply. She encouraged me to just put my son on the breast and to put the pump away until I went back to work, I haven’t looked back since.

I want to tell you that my breastfeeding journey (9 months and counting) has been problem-free but I’d be lying. In the 9 months that I’ve been breastfeeding I’ve dealt with (like most moms) engorged breasts, leaky boobs, thrush, and crying about how attached my baby is to me and my husbands “useless nipples”. I think I finally got it down to a science about breastfeeding my son with one eye open at 4 A.M. (seriously it’s a struggle but we get it done). I want to encourage you that it does get better. Especially when your child is old enough to start consuming solids. Breastmilk is still their main source of nutrition but you don’t have to be a human pacificier all day like before lol. Because of the issues I dealt with while breastfeeding I contemplated switching my son to formula. I remember saying I wanted JJ to be indepedent and not have to depend on me to eat. In retrospect that really was a stupid statement because I literally can pump a bottle and go handle my business LOL.

I’m glad I decided to stick with breastfeeding but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t counting down until our last nursing session together (prayerfully by March 2020). But I wanted to write this post because I am in a few breastfeeding groups on Facebook and there always seems to be judgement towards the moms who choose to formula feed sometime during their journey. Some supplement with formula, some could never get their babies to latch, some just did not have a positive experience with breastfeeding, some could not stick to a strict pump schedule because of their jobs etc. Whatever their reason was they had to stick to formula and boy does the internet know how to dish it out! I’m on the “Fed is Best” end of the debate. I will ALWAYS encourage breastfeeding (for the reasons above and so much more) but I would NEVER knock another mom for choosing to give their baby formula, after all I’m a formula baby and I turned out fine. Once the baby turns ONE none of this breastfeeding vs. formula argument even matters. What I do care about is that the baby is being properly nourished whether it be breastmilk or formula. Whatever method you choose mom just stay confident in your decision and have those ocassional clapbacks ready for the non-supporters. Trust me when I say the next argument will come soon about c-section vs. vaginal births, stay-at-home moms vs. working moms, oh and my favorite moms who choose to let their kids cry it out versus moms who rush to wipe their kid’s tears. Isn’t Mommyhood amazing? LOL.

Stay present,

JJ’s Mom ❤

The countdown was REAL the closer I got to maternity leave. Like most moms, my plan was to work up until my due date so that I could use every bit of time I saved up. The closer I got to my due date the more uncomfortable I became. I’m so thankful there wasn’t much of a dress code at my job because leggings and oversized sweaters became my best friend! For an unrelated pregnancy reason, I went to the hospital and ending up getting induced. I delivered at 38 weeks and 2 days, just a little under two weeks before my actual due date. Maternity leave was FINALLY here! Yipee! My “vacation” finally began.. or so I thought.

I was given 12 weeks maternity leave under FMLA with only 6 weeks paid. My husband was given 6 weeks off paid and having him there was so helpful. We had this whole plan about how much we were going to get accomplished during this leave! We probably got about 1/4th of that list actually done! LOL. Between establishing a routine and caring for a newborn we entertained daily/weekly guests, applied for jobs, bought baby items almost daily from Amazon, slept, ate takeout, took a million pictures of our son (he truly looked different everyday), nursed and pumped, nursed and pumped. But on top of all these things I had to take care of myself. I remember barely being able to walk far distances without being in pain. I remember being scared to use the bathroom. I remember waking up and my shirt would be soaked with breast milk. I remember the very first night we came home from the hospital and our son refused to sleep in his bassinet. We took turns holding him while we took 15 minute naps. We eventually gave in and co-slept (not recommended, but we had to do what we had to do). Those 6-12 weeks went by so fast and my husband went back to work. I had to do this same routine on my own for 12 hour days.

While I did not experience postpartum depression (PPD) I know a lot of moms who did. “Mommy Guilt” (feeling guilty for doing ANYTHING for yourself while being out of your child’s presence temporarily) is another thing that FTM experience as well. Trying to navigate your sex life after pregnancy and learning to love your new “Mom Bod”. So imagine throwing that all in the mix on top of establishing your new mom routine. I really was oblivious to what maternity leave would look like. If anything I was too tired to do anything outside of taking care of my baby. The reoccuring guests drained me! I quickly had to learn to choose between sleeping and cleaning up my home. I was exhausted (still pretty tired 8 months later LOL). The 12 weeks most women do get off is filled with establishing a routine for the new baby. By the time you finally feel like you have a routine down it’s time to go back to work. (which is a struggle in itself and a topic I will write about sometime soon). The best advice I can give to someone going on maternity leave is to set realistic expectations and to go with the flow. Set boundaries with people (I can’t stress this enough). Take time for yourself when you’re ready. Rest, rest, rest. Try to establish some type of self-care routine at least once a month while on leave. Before you know it your “vacation” is going to be over and you’ll be adding a 40 hour work week on top of taking care of your bundle of joy!

Stay Present, JJ’s Mom ❤

We’ve heard it time and time again…. you complain to someone about being so exhausted, that your child kept you up all night. Then the infamous line “sleep when the baby sleeps” comes out of their mouth. So cliche’ and really annoying. If we ALWAYS slept when the baby slept, how much would we really get accomplished?

Let’s be real. It takes so much effort to finally get a baby down to sleep. So much effort that sometimes you end up falling asleep in the process. If you are able to sneak away successfully (slide that good arm from under that baby’s neck lol), then you’ll probably do a few things:

1. Go wash the endless amounts of laundry piling up in your bathroom or hallway
2. Wash the dishes from days ago
3. Binge watch the latest Netflix series
4. Facetime a friend and vent about Mommyhood (how exhaustingly beautiful it is)
5. Shower and hop out 8 times because of Phantom cries!
6. Stuff your face with unhealthy yet yummy snacks 🙂
7. Scroll your timeline and catch up on memes and milestones

Mommy do what you feel is best when your baby is sleep! Sleep when they sleep or do a combination of things! If the laundry or dishes do not get done, there’s always tomorrow! 🙂

Stay Present, JJ’s Mom ❤

I grew up in a very blended family. When I say blended I mean mom, grandparents, aunts, first cousin and my sister. My upbringing is the epitome of “it takes a village to raise a child”. I remember growing up and always imagining what it would have been like to grow up in a traditional two parent household: two story home, white picket fence, family dog, and having my own room. While this is the “American Dream” for most, it was the furthest thing from my reality. Despite having a somewhat “untraditional” upbringing it worked for us and I turned out to be a pretty awesome adult and an even better mother :). My upbringing taught me a lot of things, but the most important lesson it taught me was nothing is wrong with wanting tradition. If I couldn’t have the American Dream for myself I wanted it for my future children.

Fast Forward to 2019 I had my first child, my pride and joy, JJ. He is and will always will be my number one priority. If I never accomplish another thing in this lifetime professionally or personally knowing that I gave him life is enough for me. I planned for him. I did everything “right”. I went to school and obtained my degrees and then got married and had my first child. Before his arrival my husband I talked about what kind of parents we would be. That conversation is a little fuzzy now, but one thing I remember saying is “I want to be a present parent for my son”. I remember thinking to myself only weeks into my 12-week maternity leave that I’m not going back to work full time. My boss even offered to give me another month off, but the thought of my baby being ripped from my arms after only a few months together didn’t sit well with me. So I quit my full time job and worked part time as an Adjunct Professor. Teaching allowed me to stay connected to the field of Public Health and gave me the flexibility to still be present for my son. This has been my life the last 8 months and I don’t regret a single thing about it. My son gets a present mom and I get to stay connected to my career field. It’s a win-win for us both.

You hear people say often ” I want to give my children everything I didn’t have”. I’m not talking about all the physical stuff. Toys eventually get broken and you grow out all of the clothes and shoes. I want to give my son present parents. He deserves it because he didn’t ask to be here. We planned for him. I want my son to grow in a home where he feels safe and loved. I don’t want him to grow up and still have to heal from childhood traumas or triggers. When it’s all said and done I want my son to feel he had the best parents in the world. He deserves our presence. He didn’t ask to be here, we planned for him. So if I decline girl’s trips, impromptu dinner dates, or a social outing of some sort, in my Monica voice “don’t take it personal”. I’m just out her Mom-ing trying to be a present parent for my son because he didn’t ask to be here, we planned for him.

Stay Present, JJ’s Mom ❤

I find myself in constant conversations with other moms about our parenting styles and one thing that we all have in common is we want to be present parents. What does being a present parent mean to me?

• Being able to take my son to story time every Saturday
• Being able to witness every milestone (i.e. sitting up on his own unassisted and eating his first solid food)
• Watching him splash in the bath tub
• Reading Moo Baa La La La a million times and Singing Sesame Street “Letter of the Day”

I’m no perfect parent and I’m literally winging this parenthood thing. I asked my son just now how I’m doing as a parent and he clapped his hands and said “Ba Ba Ba”, which means pretty awesome mom! LOL.

Allow me to reintroduce myself:

• 28 years young
• Mommy of 1
• Wife
• Foodie
• Travel Junkie

In the words of Tigger “Ta Ta for Now”

Stay Present, JJ’s Mom ❤